#12: The One with the Instagram Story I Was Meant to See
Some reminders if you’re not feeling your best, as we enter a new year.
Dear friend,
How are you? And as we prepare to say goodbye to 2023 and move forward into a brand new year, I’m wondering, how is your heart? Have you checked in recently? I hope and pray all is well in there. Let me know when you can - I’d love to hear from you.💛
Last week, I celebrated my 35th trip around the sun. In my early twenties, I’d always thought that by my mid-thirties I would completely have my life together. However, in the weeks leading up to this birthday, I was feeling a little bit shit if I’m honest with you.
Wondering how so much time had passed so quickly, questioning why I still felt I had nothing to show for my life, contemplating and regretting past decisions and choices that had impacted my life forever and reflecting on every little thing that had brought me right here to this point. Not acknowledging the fact that I had made it to this point though - still alive, surrounded by love, and living with purpose and passion. It’s funny how our minds can run away with us and have us questioning - once again - all the answers we have worked so hard to receive.
Just a couple of days ago, I was scrolling through Instagram stories when I was struck by the story of someone I met while exhibiting my artwork at an event earlier this year. This amazing woman, a couple of years younger than me, is in the early stages of her Human Design business. She shared her story of how she found Human Design and her path of healing and spirituality, and it hit me right in the core of my soul; I felt like God was speaking to me through the selection of words and images that my thumb was click-click-clicking through.
You see, despite being strangers to each other just a few months ago, through her Instagram story I learned that this lady had once applied to the same Television Production Trainee Scheme that I had applied to in the same year that I had applied, at a time when I thought the whole world was about to open up before me. The difference was, that I was in my final year at University completing a degree I had no interest in and I was also unknowingly pregnant at the time. I didn’t get accepted. The difference was, that out of thousands of applicants, she was one of the nine people who did receive a space on the scheme and she went on to live out the dreams I had once had.
As I clicked through her story, I saw the life I once believed I had wanted, play out on the screen before me. Travelling the world, producing and filming documentaries, meeting human beings from all walks of life, learning and documenting their stories; red carpets, prestigious awards, global recognition, abundant income. But the dream is not always what it seems to be and as I continued to click through, I learnt that this lifestyle left this young lady with insane levels of burnout, poor mental and spiritual health, crippling physical health and incapabilities and many, many, many questions that she couldn’t at first seem to find answers to.
Thankfully, she found her path of healing and a happier, healthier, more sustainable lifestyle and I wish her continued growth, peace and success. She had to go through all of that and experience outwardly success first, for the space to open up in her life to enable and guide her to go within.
And it was as if God was showing and telling me, “That could’ve been you but you were meant to go within and find Me first before experiencing outer world success”.
It just felt like a big, giant affirming confirmation and a huge hug from the universe that everything has unfolded perfectly for me in my life - it may not have been what I wanted, but it is exactly what I needed, and it is exactly what I need to get to where I want to go. I know that all I desire and want in my heart is coming, I just have to continue to go and grow through some of my biggest tests and battles first.
Keeping in line with the above story, here are six reflections and insights I’ve had through turning 35 which came as huge reminders to me through seeing this Instagram story I was meant to see.
And also, I feel they are perfectly timely as many of us reflect on 2023 and look forward to what 2024 will bring. I hope you can take something from them, too.
1. You may not be where you want to be, but you are exactly where you need to be.
The most uncomfortable of places are where there are the most opportunities for growth. Sometimes we need to become the person who is ready to receive certain blessings first, before receiving them.
2. There is no timeline here! We all receive different blessings at different times, and we have to trust in God’s plan.
In the holy Qur’an, humanity is told that we can plan, but God plans too, and God is the best of planners. The Creator has a perspective beyond anything we could ever even perceive - He has the greater picture. We have to take action, put in the work and play our part, and trust in Divine timing.
3. If you are taking small, consistent steps you will eventually get to where you want to go.
Enjoy the journey, trust the process, stay in your lane, keep your eyes off everyone else and only on the destination ahead. Comparison truly is the thief of joy.
4. Everyone says it, but honestly, now I’ve hit my mid-thirties I can say with complete conviction that time goes by so bloody fast. SO fast.
Life is so short, so quick, so wild. Follow your heart, your passion, your joy! There is no excuse big enough not to! In this regard, despite not yet being where I want to be, I am proud of every version of me for never giving up on herself, her passions and her joy. My art and writing have been my constant companions and saving grace and for that I will be forever thankful.
5. Even at the ripe old age of 35, I’ve learnt that God will continue sending you the same tests over and over again throughout your life, until you truly learn your lesson.
Better to learn your lesson and move on, rather than keep going around in the same circle of pain.
6. All of life is happening right now. There is no past, no future, just this moment we’re in.
Are you here with life? Are you here in this moment? Are you living? A reminder for myself, first and foremost.
As I close off this letter, I hope you will take a couple of moments just to close your eyes, tune into your heart, and connect to the silence and the power within you… and give thanks. Deep, heartfelt thanks for who and where you have been, who and where you are now and for all that is yet to come. Because the best is still yet to come - I believe that.
Thank you, Lord, for your bountiful blessings, for abundance, for passion, purpose, joy and peace.
Thank you for the path, thank you for guiding me, thank you for showing me the treasures of my own soul and thank you for finding me lost and guiding me all those many years ago.
Thank you for love, thank you for family, thank you for life.
Thank you for allowing me to feel and experience the whole spectrum of what it is to be human. Thank you for the pain, the sorrow, the joy, the discomfort, the sadness, the loneliness, the fullness, the incompleteness and the completeness.
And thank you for all of the signs that continue to show up, just like that Instagram story, reminding me that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
What’s next? I don’t know. There is only now and now is beautiful.
Wishing you peace, presence and joy in 2024 and beyond, my friend.
Sending Light, Love & Peace,
Sabah x
🖋What I’ve been creating: Lots of new videos on my Art & Healing YouTube Channel!
📚What I’m reading: The Maid by Nita Prose - not sure how I feel about this yet.
🎧What I’m listening to: ‘How to Be the Love You Seek’ by Dr Nicole Le Pera aka The Holistic Psychologist. Amazing so far!
🎶Song of the Week: The album ‘Made of Stars’ by Fia. The most beautiful, empowering words to aid you on your spiritual and self-growth journey. One that I come back to over and over again.
💭Quote I’m contemplating: “As you step into 2024, make sure you don’t leave behind all the versions of you that still need you. A new year doesn’t magically take away all the pain you went through that still needs to be felt by you. A new year doesn’t magically heal all the wounds that are still open. Carry them with you and let them know you’re not ashamed of them. That’s the only way to heal.” ~ Najwa Zebian.
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Every time I read one of your letters, I am struck by their gentleness, as if they are a loving embrace from a friend who is whispering sweet nothings into my soul. Thank you for that! So much wisdom here to contemplate, but the one I’ll be thinking of tonight is: “Are you truly living? Are you here in the now?” Because I so often am not. I’m stuck in a daydream of what life could be rather than the presence of what it is. Gratitude is grounding - I must remember that. Wishing you a blessed new year full of all the success you seek and ever more wisdom, joy, and love.💕